D-Cup May 1997

3 THE WORLD OF D-CUP Introduction The rules of the game! 6 TIT TALK Photo Feature Letters to D-CUP! 8 EMILY Pictorial Every man's dream! 24 BIG BOOB BEAT Photo Feature All the president's semen! 26 REBECCA Pictorial How'd you like to fuck her jugs? 34 CYBEROTICA Photo Feature The complete guide to sex and the computer! 38 DIONNE Pictorial Cream on these! 44 THE JESSICA JAMES INTERVIEW, PART I Photo Feature Blowjob queen! 46 DEVIN Pictorial Titties from heaven! 54 MARRIED TO A BOOB STAR Fiction Those Moscow girls make him cream and shout! 58 BALLAD OF THE BOOB CAFE Centerspread Skye and Summer serve the best lunch special in town! 70 QUEEN GAZONGA Humor Erin go braless! 72 ERIKA EVEREST & ROCKI ROADS Pictorial Because she's there! 86 COLT 45 Pictorial Packing a wallop! 120 SANDRA SUMMERS Pictorial The ultimate tit slut! 130 JUNE PREVIEWS Photo Feature Watch Angelique suck a guy! EDITORIAL NOTE THE WORLD OF D-CUP Even D-CUP girls are playing by The Rules. For those unfamiliar with The Rules—as we were until a colleague in the Etiquette Department brought them to our attention—we will attempt to explain both The Rules, and the effect they have on you, the fan of large-breasted models who display their genitalia for a living. The Rules are nothing new. At best, they're a cynical, manipulative set of behaviors, most likely originating in the 19th Century, that tell a woman that the best way to catch a man is by playing hard to get. At worst The Rules is a behavior modification handbook—insidious instructions on how to retrain your man as if he's a dirty fuckdog. This retro-think has become so popular The Rules (Warner Books, $5.99) is now a best-seller by Ellen Fein of Lawn Guyland and Sherrie Schneider who lives in the toxic wastelands of enchanting New Jersey. Space does not allow us to discuss all 35 rules and 12 extra hints. Time does not allow us to develop our own book of counter-strategies to nullify the effectiveness of The Rules. (Apparently, somebody else has written such a book. It's called The Code: Time Tested Secrets to Getting What You Want from Women Without Marrying Them, by Nate Penn and Lawrence LaRose, and, by the time you read this, it should be available from Simon & Schuster.) We at D-CUP agree with the philosophy of The Code, and are firmly committed to the idea that you should not have to propose marriage to a woman before she allows you to squirt your hot sauce on her tits. We are equally committed to the idea that any kind of manipulation within a relationship is wrong and counterproductive. People should be open and honest with each other. A woman should allow you to squirt your hot sauce on her jugs because, like you, she thinks it's fun. But it's important to keep in mind that D-CUP girls are professionals—nude models and porn stars. They're well paid to do things publicly that the average Rules Girl wouldn't dream of doing privately—even after she's housebroken her dirty fuck-dog. D-CUP girls are a different breed altogether. Manipulation comes naturally to them. They could have written The Rules. Let's examine a few of The Rules and see how they apply to D-CUP girls. Rule 1: Be a "Creature Unlike any Other." That's easy for D-CUP girls. They just go to the surgeon and buy themselves a new pair of tits. "Doctor," they say, "make me a creature unlike any other!" $10,000 and a couple of implants later—Voila! Rule 2: Don't talk to a man first (and don't ask him to dance). Of course a D-CUP girl won't ask you to dance. That's her job—to dance...preferably naked on a stage while you stuff bank notes of large denominations in her cleavage. Rule 5: Don't call him and rarely return his calls. When you're a D-CUP girl your phone number is 011239-3776 (international rates apply). Of course the guy is going to call you. He's so hot to talk, he's ready to pay handsomely for the privilege. Though counter to The Rules, it's in the D-CUP girl's best interest to keep the conversation going for longer than 10 minutes. Rule 15: Don't rush into sex. Certainly not! A D-CUP girl knows how much money her prospective fuckmate has in the bank before getting intimate. And guys, when you get her in the sack, don't just hose down her tits with your cum. It's rude! Always ask permission first. The correct phrasing is, "May I shoot my hot sauce on your gorgeous breasts?" Don't worry. She'll say "Yes!" Rule 23: Don't date a married man. Look what happened to Gennifer Flowers. She dated a married politician, returned his phone calls and the next thing you know, she had to write a dirty book and give it away free in D-CUP. (See Big Boob Beat for details.) Okay, guys, now you know the rules. Get out there and play!