Hustler July 1976

5 PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT 6 FEEDBACK 8 ADVISE & CONSENT 10 BITS & PIECES Pierced Clits, Edible Panties, and Other Insanities. 18 SEX PLAY Bail Games for Bedroom Sports. 21 SEX BITS 23 JANET Keeping Secrets. 28 GLORY Sex and Violence. Fiction by J. R. Rivers 40 A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A GYNECOLOGIST When the Doctor Plays. 48 HUSTLER INTERVIEW: ALTHEA LEASURE Our Up-Front Executive Editor Comes Out-Front. by Bruce David 57 X-RATED REVIEWS Latest in Blue. 62 CENTERFOLD: EVELYN Pink Is Beautiful. 85 HUSTLER HUMOR 86 HUSTLER'S BICENTENNIAL BALL Statutory Rape. 88 HOW TO BREAK A CHERRY We Finally Found One. by Noel Kilgen 94 VULVA OF THE DOLLS They Wet! They Cry! They Fuck! 100 HUSTLER PROFILE: LENNY SCHULTZ Is He the "World's Sickest Comedian"? by Joyce Jurnovoy 107 MARSHA Remembrance of Things Past. 113 KINKY KORNER Gettin' Your Cousin Buzzin'. by George Hatch 121 HUSTLER'S BEAVER HUNT Amateur Erotic Photo Contest. 136 HONEY HOOKER Fucking the Founding Fathers. by Jim McQuade 140 MAIL-ORDER FEEDBACK Tip-Offs to Rip-Offs and Product Reviews. PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA! This month marks not only the Bicentennial of our great country, it is also HUSTLER's second birthday. "You've Come a Long Way, Baby" is a slogan that applies to both HUSTLER and America. And I feel that they have both been successful for the same reasons: a desire to be free and the spirit of aggressive competitiveness. Both of these qualities are inherent in the American free enterprise system and are the essence of HUSTLER's editorial stance. The American system of free enterprise has been the key element to HUSTLER's growth from a two-page, black-and-white newsletter into the world's leading erotic publication. This unique system developed the early American wilderness society of debtors, have-nots, and slaves into a technologically advanced culture with the highest standard of living in the world. The fact is, America is by far the greatest country in the world despite the many ills confronting us. As HUSTLER's Editor and Publisher, I have been fortunate enough to have traveled a great deal in my life. Like others before me, I had often thought in the past that the grass must be greener on the other side. Well, it is not so. In my search throughout the world for a better social environment, I have found out just how lucky I am to have been born an American citizen. We Americans live better and are freer than anybody anywhere else in the world. Our goal for the next 200 years of America's existence should be to keep this country great and free. Now, however, our individual liberties and economic greatness, forged by our competitive free enterprise system, are threatened as never before by the intrusion of socialism into our democratic way of life. Socialism is presented as a one-for-all ideology, in which everybody contributes to the pie and in return receives an equal slice of it. This may be fine in theory, but since the piece of pie is guaranteed, people tend to sit on their asses, and nothing much gets done. As a result, the pie gets smaller. Great Britain is a shining example of socialism falling flat on its ass. As in all socialistic societies, the English government runs nearly everything—railroads, coal mines, public utilities—and as a result practically everything in England is fucked up. Prices have risen by as much as 55 percent, efficiency has been cut in half, and the national rate of inflation has risen to 25 percent. (In America, 10 or 11 percent inflation is considered of crisis proportions.) You can get an idea of the half - assed approach of British socialists from the fact that there is a three-month wait for telephone installations. Think about that the next time you're cursing Ma Bell for being a mother. It's the same old story: If the government can't manage itself, we can't expect it to manage industry. More insidious and more damaging than the gross mismanagement that usually accompanies socialism is the deadening effect it has on a nation's spirit. There is no creative interplay between competing companies because government-owned industries do not have any competitors. Thus there is no incentive to improve the quality of goods and services. The same applies to citizens who have no opportunity to advance through competition. Therefore, there is no incentive to perform, to achieve, or to succeed. There are no winners in such a society; everybody is a loser, droning along in a dull, gray world in which all men are the same zombielike bureaucrats, neither expecting nor desiring any opportunity for individual achievement. Individuality and personal achievement go hand in hand with those democratic freedoms that are the lifeblood of America. I feel that the most serious challenge in the future for this country will be to retain our vigorous system of free enterprise that has allowed these qualities to flourish. I have dedicated my life and this magazine to seeing that our system and our freedoms continue to flourish for at least another 200 years beneath the American flag. Long may it wave.