Hustler December 1994

5 Bits & Pieces Win a Degree in Celebrity Gynecology Edited by Scott Schalin 12 A Personal Statement to Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford A Toothy Retort by Bucky Beaver 13 Feedback Debating the Color of Honey 14 A HUSTLER Editor in Hell A Frightening, Flaming Photo-Fantasy 19 Ho' SephinePlumber/Prostitute Comic-Book Carnality With a Liquid Plumber 24 Sperm—It Does a Body Good A Message from HUSTLER's Dairy Council 27 Erotic Entertainment Say Goodbye to Superstar Savannah Edited by Mike McPadden 34 Ad Parody The Length HUSTLER Readers Will Go for Pleasure 35 Hot Letters A Sailor Gets All Hands on Dick 40 Odd Couplings HUSTLER Mixtures of Madness and Mayhem Combination Illustrations by John Howard 47 Suicide Is for Losers A HUSTLER Public-Service Message 49 Sex Play Porn Tapes Make Great Lays: The Mounting Success of Hard-Core-Video Sex Therapy by Don Vaughan 51 Magazine Parody E'squeer 53 Movie Parody The Little Assholes 54 Ad Parody Assure Pussy Deodorant 56 House of Splooge Inside Porn Queen Alicia Rio's Rent-Share Lair Report by Michael Albuquerque 60 Lana: Pretty Poser Photography by Matti Klatt 70 Sheena: Heavy Ma'am Photography by Clive McLean 78 Stink Cave and Other Concerns The Comeback of Cutting-Edge Comedy Report by Chick Leonard 82 Sara, Blondie and Dave: Stir Crazy Photography by Clive McLean 94 Brandy: Sticking Out Centerfold Photography by James Baes 104 HUSTLER Humor Edited by Mike McPadden and Jeanne Diamond 106 Sweet Poison The Harmful Drug Called NutraSweet Report by Alex Constantine 113 Chasey Lain and Noelle: Powder Burn Photography by Matti Klatt 121 Beaver Hunt Pussy's Always Pinker on Our Side of the Fence