Hustler Holiday 2007

GIRLS SPREAD 24 PAXTON LANE: More Than O.K. Photography by Mark Lit 48 BREE OLSON: Snow Bunny Photography by Holly Randall 68 ZOE & SUZIE CARINA: Move Right In Photography by Matti Klatt 82 FAITH LEON: Home for the Holidays Photography by Suze Randall 106 VANESSA LANE: Bright Lights, Big City Photography by John Brant 126 REBECA LINARES & SASCHA: Up on the Roof Photography by Matti Klatt 176 KEIRA: In a League of Her Own Five-Grand Winner's Victory Spread Photography by Ladi von Jansky FEATURES 3 RISQUE PERRIER PARODY 16 EV1: ELECTRIC CAR'S AU REVOIR 36 HOW LARRY FLYNT EXPOSED DAVID VITTER The Inside Scoop by Mark Johnson 40 HUSTLER'S ANNUAL HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE by Keith Valcoud 42 FEAR & LOATHING ON THE POSTIMUS RADIO DIAL by Stephanie Miller 46 HOLLYWOOD EXPOSED! Hookers Tell All 56 JOHN NICHOLS Q&A: "IMPEACH THE BASTARDS!" by Bruce David & Ed Rampell 60 GIRLS OF MYSPACE 64 BAG LADY SUE Bawdy Comedienne's Tale by Ed Rampell 76 THE MIDGET STORY Blogging Don Juan Beds a Little Gal by Tucker Max 80 WHY I HATE RELIGION by Al Goldstein s 98 AIN'T IT ALWAYS... Comic Strip by George Trosley 104 MOVIE MAMMARIES Kim Basinger & Christina Ricci THE ISSUE'S STANDARDS 7 PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT by Larry Flynt 8 TECH KNOW 9 ROBERT SCHEER 10 GAME ON 11 NAT HENTOFF 13 FEEDBACK Assessing Vitter 17 ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH 19 BITS & PIECES Bucky's Holiday Tips, Cool Stocking Stuffers, Fellatio Fantasy & Mor€ 32 HOT LETTERS 63 ARIOCK PINUP 96 HUSTLER HUMOR 100 SIGHTS & SOUNDS Dweezil Zappa, Greatest Hits on DVD... 115 COLLEGE REPORT Virginia Tech Mass Murderer's Booty Call 116 REAL COLLEGE GIRLS Extracurricular Shucking 119 BLUE MOVIES Reviews, Brady Bunch Spoof, Max Hardcore 134 TOP AMATEURS' OFFICIAL BALLOT 135 BEAVER HUNT Super-Sized Roundup PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT WHY AMERICAN DESPISE CONGRESS The people continue to clamor for the impeachment of Bush and Cheney, yet our congressmen and senators do absolutely nothing. Are we surprised? Hell, no! It's what we've come to expect. Our nation's politicians will say and do anything to get elected. However, once in Washington, all they do is sit quietly and take the money—even those who start out with the best of intentions. It's the system itself that corrupts. Legislators either go along with the program, or they get marginalized and, ultimately, jettisoned. We all know how it works: Lavish gifts from lobbyists, payoffs under the table, all-expensespaid trips around the world, campaign donations, etc. Yet it's a rare event when anyone says something. Even the media remains silent, and the reason is crystal clear: As one of the biggest lobbying arms on Capitol Hill, the media is actually part of the problem. Here's my solution: Give the bums in the Senate and House a huge pay raise. Say a million dollars a year each to start. (Hell, they're stealing that much from us anyway!) That should eliminate the greed factor. And if the bastards still go for the graft, just shoot 'em—after a fair and speedy trial, of course.