Hustler January 2012

GIRLS 27 VYNESSA ORCHID Flowering Beauty-Photography by Mark Lit 45 RIHANNA RIMES No Rhyme or Reason-Photography by Mark Lit 50 BRITTANYSBOD Cybersexy-Photography by J. Stephen Hicks 68 SPENCER SCOTT Born to Pose-Photography by EarlMiller.com 9c KIARA DIANE Secret Lover-Photography by Larry Flynt Productions 109 THIS AIN'T FOX NEWS XXX It's a right(-wing) humpfest—care of hotties Nichole Aniston, Darryl Hanah and Sea J Raw—with boneheaded commentators getting (and eating) their just deserts. Photography courtesy HUSTLER Video 145 VICTORIA Lady in Waiting-Classic Photography by Clive McLean FEATURES 36 DANNY TREJO The tough-guy star of Machete opens up about his criminal past and working with babes Jessica Alba and Lindsay Lohan. Interview by Anthony Petkovich 40 LOOKING BACK: DEBI DIAMOND Retrospective on a porn legend who takes a serious dicking and keeps on ticking. Profile by Michael McClay 54 DOOMSDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE How to prepare for nuke disasters and other apocalyptic scenarios. Article by M. Allen Nathan 66 LIFELIKE GODDESSES: EP THE TANTALIZING PINUPS OF JESSICA DOUGHERTY A talented artist reflects on her deliciously curvaceous creations. Profile by Kimberly Cheng 82 TOUGH MUDDER: BALL COMPETITION Our gonzo reporter sees if he can endure a brutal obstacle course designed by Brit commandos. Report by Scott Fayner 86 CONSERVATIVES VS. LIBERALS: BORN TO DISAGREE Stunning scientific facts about the way Republicans think and act. Scary stuff. Article by Harry Walsh STANDARDS 3 POLITICAL PARODY Tylenol: Incompetence ensuring your safety! 7 PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT How to fix Congress by Larry Flynt 9 TECH KNOW: Win a 3D HD camcorder! 11 ROBERT SCHEER: Memoirs of a scoundrel 13 NAT HENTOFF: Last rites for the Bill of Rights 15 ALEX BENNETT: Duct tape and chloroform 17 FEEDBACK: We make one reader "hornyfied"! 20 PINUP by Sandra Chang 21 ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH: Grover Norquist 22 BITS & PIECES: Our favorite blueblooded Brit gets a stiffy; Top Guns gals heat their jets; and a walk on the slutty side 35 CLASSIC CARTOONS: 'Toons that still rock—after all these years! 80 HUSTLER HUMOR: A gaggle of jokes 88 SIGHTS & SOUNDS: Candid conversations with GNR drummer Steven Adler, Loverboy's Mike Reno and glam band Warrant's late vocalist, Jani Lane 93 MOVIE MAMMARIES: Rebecca Romijn's breast flicks 102 EROTIC ENTERTAINMENT: Web whores, Hollywood squares, barely legals and flying pink pigs 119 BEAVER HUNT: World's hottest amateurs 136 COUGARS UNLEASHED: Horny Heather for your pleasure 137 GIRLS OF FACEBOOK: Can you keep (it) up with Shawnee? 138 FAMOUS FLESH: See right through songbird Rihanna 139 REAL COLLEGE GIRLS: Healthy science major Crystal.