Maxim # 64 - April 2003

FEATURES 112 WE WANT ANSWERS! MICKEY ROURKE The boxer, barfly, crackpot, and French national hero takes a turn as a tweaked meth cook in Spun. 118 COVER GIRL SARAH WYNTER Now that they've sent us 24's luscious litigator, we can finally forgive Australia for Russell Crowe and the Crocodile Hunter. 144 HIT ME, BABY FEMMES OF FURY As if a whole network devoted to martial arts isn't cool enough, meet Blackbelt TV's ass-kicking hostesses. 150 HAPPY RETURNS TAXIN' AND RELAXIN' Our 1040 asks all the right questions to make sure your hard-earned money goes to the right place: back in your pocket. 152 UNDERCOVER OPERATIONS SEX MYSTERIES-SOLVED! Did she fake the big one? Is she thinking of cheating? Do you really have to listen when she talks? We've got answers to silence the little voices inside your head. 158 MOVIE GADGETS ARE WE THERE YET? Our movies have promised us a world of robot slaves, orgasmatrons, and plasma cannons.ls it time to cash in? 164 NORTHERN EXPOSURE RACHEL PERRY You've been granted All Access to this VH1 hostess, the sexiest Canadian import since a cold six of Labatt's. Ask nicely and you might get a backstage pass! MILITARY SPECIAL 128 TACTICAL MAGIC WAR GAMES Go behind the lines at history's fiercest battles and most incredible victories. 138 TUNDRA FUN MAXIM CONQUERS QUEBEC! Doing our part for the war effort, Maxim sent a squadron of lazy alcoholics to wipe out Canada's ugly eastern tumor. People should know when they're defeated. 142 I.P. FREELY ON LINE ONE COLD CALLING It takes a particularly petty, socially retarded individual to find amusement in testing the limits of another person's politeness and goodwill. But the good news is, that kind works cheap. REGULARS 38 READERS' LETTERS We love it when our readers share their deepest feelings iiiwith us. And then we share 'em with authorities. 46 JOKES One of you earns $150. Many don't. 50 CIRCUS MAXIMUS Trucks, spiritual succor, and theft deterrents. 57 MODEL CITIZEN SABRINA RANDALL Korean-Irish fusion: in a restaurant, not so good. In a woman? Delicious! 70 HOW TO Put out a fire and cover your ass. Next month: Burn stuff and hang a moon. 78 SAYS HER CHICK FLICK SURVIVAL GUIDE Sometimes love means sitting through two hours of tear-soaked epiphanies. Don't go it alone. 84 SPORTS NO JOY IN MUDVILLE Would you scrub ballplayers' jocks just to get close to the game? Our man did...This is his sordid story. 90 INSTANT EXPERT FINAL EXIT Dropped dead? Your troubles have just begun. 93 MY WORST DAY CRASH COURSE A skydiver's chute dragged pilot Barry Dawson's plane out of the sky. Here's how it all went downhill. 98 HOT ZONE Don't shoot! It's Bulletproof Monk. Plus: the White Stripes and Good Charlotte's road rage. 171 MAXIM-WEAR Keep your pants on—we're gonna belt you. Plus: sporty visors, sheets she'll stay for, and grooming stuff so good her PI won't know it's you. 189 TOP GEAR If you wanna be king of your castle, you'll need a home theater. Plus: doodads. 202 WINE & DINE SAUCY SPAGHETTI Lesson #1: Not macaroni, pasta. Lesson #2: Not gravy, sauce. Capiche? Good. Now get cooking—whacking deadbeats is hungry work. 208 BAR EXAM Senior editor James Heidenry is a dab hand at gift-wrapping.