Oui November 1984

4 OPENERS Crappy clothes, Mounds of mags, Bozo goes politico and a host of other happenings. 8 SOPHIA'S SOFT SOFA Pictorial 17 LETTERS What's write and wrong with OUI. 20 DR. OUI The Doctor is in. 22 WEIRDOS, FREAKS AND OTHER AMERICAN ECCENTRICS Proving that the U.S. is the land of the freak and the home of the depraved. By Carl Sifakis 25 BEAUTY AND THE BEAT Pictorial 32 KILLER QADAFFI An inside look at a modern day madman whose very existence is a is threat to your life. Article by Lee D. Server Illustration by Anthony Schiano 36 CARESSA Pictorial 44 KING OF THE NBA Bernard King, that is, who has overcome alcoholism and depression to reach the height of his athletic prowess. Article by Barry Janoff Photos by Noren Trotman 48 THE BANK DICK His sexual deposits kept her interest high while paying erotic dividends. Fiction by Jessie Alexander 50 RED HOT Centerfold Pictorial 60 WANTED: BALD MAN SEEKS WITCH TO HELP INSPECT DIAPERS OUI's inside look at contacting anyone about anything anywhere anytime. Article by Michael Herman 62 OUI'S EROTIC THANKSGIVING MEAL A guide to preparing the sexiest, most erotic Thanksgiving menu since the Pilgrims first talked breasts and thighs. Illustration by Curt Hoppe 65 THE SEDUCTION OF SUZY Pictorial 72 BUKOWSKI The master of offbeat fiction strikes again. Illustration by S. Clay Wilson 75 VIEWS Frank Goes to Hollywood, Peewee goes Big Time, Mamet goes legit and other travel information. 78 CELEBRITY SEX QUIZ If they said it, OUI'll tell you about it. 80 SPORTS Column by Barry Janoff 82 TRAVEL Column by Lee D. Server 84 REELS Column by Michael Kaplan 86 MUSIC Column by Ron Smith 98 NUDES-A-POPPIN' '84 OUI returns to the Ponderosa Sun Club and finds more nude women than you can shake a stick at. Pictorial EDITORIAL NOTE November is Thanksgiving month, so OUI serves up a full meal complete with tasty tidbits and munchy morsels. Our main course this issue is the story of a madman whose recipe for power includes a takeover of the United States: Killer Qaddafi (p. 32) by Lee Server takes an inside look at a modern-day Hitler who claims that "I hold the power to destroy all of Islam's enemies. The nuclear weapons of their invention are in my power." OUI's second course is a special look at a special athlete: Bernard King: King of the NBA (p. 44) by Barry Janoff takes an inside look at the man many consider to be one of the top players in the NBA, a man who has battled drugs, alcoholism and depression to reach his stature—a true Thanksgiving story. Looking for some tasty side dishes. OUI has plenty this month, each one a unique gourmet delight. Our own Michael Herman, that master of elusive fact and fantasy, outdoes himself with Wanted: Bald-Headed Man Seeks Witch to Help Inspect Diapers (p. 60), a guide on how tc contact anyone about anything anywhere anytime. If that's not enough, take a look at Weirdos, Freaks and Other American Eccentrics (p. 22) by Carl Sifakis, in which the true history of the U.S. comes to light. A pimp politician? A male governor who wore dresses? The fattest American? All true, and proud Americans all. In case you're getting the idea that OUI only deals with strange birds, our piece on how to have your own Erotic Thanksgiving (p. 62) should ease thouse thoughts. Devil's Triangles, Cock-a-Leekie Soup, Sweet & Sour Balls and many other step-by-step recipes that will get your lover into that special holiday mood. If you still need to arouse your mate a bit more, try The Bank Dick (p. 48), a burning piece of fiction by first-time contributor Jessie Alexander. Well, you're ready for dessert now, and that can only mean frosty helpings of Dr. OUI (p. 20), OUI's Sex Quiz (p. 78), Bukowski (p. 72) and our usual helping of Columns, Openers and Views. Of course, you can skip the main course and head right for the cream of the crop: six sensual pictorials certain to get your gravy bubbling and your Jello mold hard, including an on-the-scene look at the Ponderosa Sun Club (p. 98), where the young women of the U.S. come to tan their tushies. And if you've got any energy left, why not get funky with OUI—Ken Funk, that is, whose special artistic talents now design the entire OUI package. His stay with OUI should be a fruitful one, despite the fact that he is a fan of Pee-wee Herman and a personal friend of Amy Schraub.