Playboy January 1984

COVER STORY We organized a yearlong search party to find the apple of our dapper Rabbit's eye, and we're pleased to report that Penny Baker turned up. Shot by Contributing Photographer Arny Freytag, this month's cover opens the door to one of our most exciting issues ever. Whatever you flip for, it's probably here. And whether you prefer heads or tails, you're sure to come up a winner with Penny just by turning to page 138. 7 PLAYBILL 15 THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY 19 DEAR PLAYBOY 27 PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS Reach out and zap somebody, and other miracles of telecommunications. 30 BOOKS Gifts to put under the tree; the latest from Philip Roth 34 MUSIC Holiday hits for would-be Santos. 44 TELEVISION BY TONY SCHWARTZ Our reporter penetrates the inner sanctum of an Arbitron home. 50 MOVIES BY BRUCE WILLIAMSON The Right Stuff is on target; finally, a fairly decent movie of a Stephen King novel. 55 COMING ATTRACTIONS BY JOHN BLUMENTHAL Shirley MacLaine as a hitchhiking nun? Read all about it. 57 MEN BY ASA BABER 59 WOMEN BY CYNTHIA HEIMEL 61 THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 67 DEAR PLAYMATES 69 THE PLAYBOY FORUM 77 PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: DAN RATHER—candid conversation Broadcast journalism's number-one gun takes a few shots at local news and national news, defends 60 Minutes and describes the Machiavellian machinery behind the scramble for Walter Cronkite's throne. 90 ON THE SNOW—fiction GABRIEL GARCIA MARQUEZ A young bride pricks her finger on a rose Her young husband, unable to stop the trickle of blood, finds himself face to face with inexorable fate. A winner of the Nobel Prize for literature weaves a new web of horror and love. 92 HOW I INVENTED PLAYBOY—humor BUCK HENRY We've kept the secret for 30 years, but now, for the first time anywhere, our illegitimate father reveals how he gave Hef the keys to the empire. 96 30 MEMORABLE YEARS—pictorial From Marilyn Monroe right up to the present—from 1953 to 1983—we've been uncovering the best shapes of three decades. Here's a reprise of some of our greatest hits. 110 REMEMBERING TENNESSEE—memoir TRUMAN CAPOTE Like his character Blanche DuBois, Tennessee Williams depended on the kindness of strangers and seldom received it. Now comes a kind reminiscence from one of the playwright's few genuine friends. 114 PROVOCATIVE PERIOD PIECES—pictorial Another class in erotic-art appreciation, taught by Charles Martignette, one of its foremost authorities. No leering, please. 118 PLAYBOY MAGIC FOR THE HOLIDAYS JOHN RAILING Tired of frittering away valuable party time watching the old folks wear lamp shades and the young folks do the pogo? We have four special tricks, courtesy of a certified magic man, that will turn those yawns into applause. 122 THE IDEA KILLERS—essay KURT VONNEGUT, JR. In which one of America's most censored writers strikes back with his most powerful weapons: sweet reason and the faith that—in4this country, anyway—it prevails. 124 THE TODAY SHOW—attire HOLLIS WAYNE Four top-drawer designers offer the best of their spring lines so that you can make the best of yours. 130 THE GREAT 30TH ANNIVERSARY PLAYMATE SEARCH—pictorial Penny Baker became our 30th Anniversary Playmate by acclamation, but we think you'll agree that the runners-up deserve just as much acclaim. 138 LUCKY PENNY—playboy's 30th anniversary playmate There's really not much point in saying anything about Penny here, since you've already looked at the centerfold. The young lady defies description but, fortunately, does not defy photography. 150 PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor 152 THE TOYNBEE CONVECTOR—fiction RAY BRADBURY The great time traveler has granted an interview at last, but it turns out the future may not be what it once seemed. 155 WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?—humor ART BUCHWALD One thing friends are for, apparently, is to help you bounce back when your marriage hits the rocks. Some of those bounces are bound to be untrue. 156 THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS—humor TOM KOCH You wouldn't play footsie with Tootsie in 1983? Well, all your heroes and villains get even verse in our annual one-finger salute to the year gone by. 159 THE ELEVENTH-HOUR SANTA—gifts At least an hour's worth of great ideas for the last-minute shopper. 162 CUNTS— poetry JOHN UPDIKE One of our greatest men of letters puts five of them together in a compelling configuration. 164 STAR 80—pictorial An attempt to bring the story of star-crossed Playmate of the Year Dorothy Stratten to the screen, with a new and improved Mariel Hemingway. 174 DARE TO BE WRONG—article ROY BLOUNT JR. Everyone's too cautious these days, says the uncautious author, yearning for the really good fuck-ups of yesterday. But perhaps it's not too late to learn. 178 SHADOWBOXER—article MARK KRAM Kram once compared the still-active Muhammad Ali to a cat trying to hold onto a windowpane. Now he finds the former champ almost fresh out of lives. 181 THE LAST NUDE PHOTO OF MARILYN MONROE—pictorial Thirty years ago, she was the Sweetheart of the Month in the very first issue of PLAYBOY. This month, the greatest sex symbol of all makes a final appearance in a never-before-seen photo. 184 WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT BEING A MAN—memoir IRWIN SHAW The author of Rich Man, Poor Man looks back over an eventful career, realizing that he has been both. 186 COCKTAIL CONSTRUCTION—drink EMANUEL GREENBERG An on-site inspection of all the best blueprints, by our Pooh-Bah of potables. 189 PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE REVIEW—pictorial A loving look over 24 of the best shoulders of 1983. 205 WHAT FATHERS KNOW BEST—compendium Advice handed down to their famous children from some of the most notable fathers of this or any other generation. 208 A GUIDE FOR PROSPECTIVE HUSBANDS—fiction ANTON CHEKHOV Just-translated wisdom for the ages for those who don't want to repeat all the mistakes of the past. 215 BERNARD AND HUEY—satire JULES FEIFFER 218 PLAYBOY FUNNIES—humor 279 LITTLE ANNIE FANNY—satire HARVEY KURTZMAN and WILL ELDER 283 PLAYBOY ON THE SCENE Say "Howdy" to the new Audi; Personal Best; Potpourri; Grapevine; Sex News.