Playboy May 2005

COVER STORY The hit show Desperate Housewives got everyone hot for homemakers, so we put out the call for real-life sexy mothers to show us their domestic goodness. After perusing nearly 1,000 submissions, we discovered that every town has a Wisteria Lane and a resident knockout neighbor like cover girl Michelle Baena, photographed by Senior Contributing Photographer Arny Freytag. Our Rabbit gives Michelle his full support. FEATURES 64 THE MEANING OF IT ALL If you think the big bang is just a theory, don't tell Simon Singh. The author of Big Bang scoffs at the implication that a deity is required to explain the origin of the universe and posits 10 reasons to blame the big bang. Bishop John Spong, comedian Julia Sweeney, philosopher John Leslie and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins tell us why all of this matters. 78 RUNWAY MODELS The skies, and your girl, will seem friendlier aboard a private jet that boasts such luxuries as a king-size bed and shower. You can buy or charter the new yachts of the sky from Boeing, Dassault, Bombardier and Gulfstream. By Jason Harper 84 THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF PARIS AND NICKY The Hilton sisters may have turned doing nothing into an art form, but in this two-page comic, the superhero starlets save the world from Jessica Simpson. By Richard Rushfield and Adam Leff, Illustrated by J.J. Sedelmaier 88 BIG LEAGUE BLUES We make our picks for all the major league clubs. Prognosis: a banner year for fans who live in a major market but not for everybody else. Hope springs eternal, unless you live in Tampa Bay. By Tracy Ringolsby 120 POSTCARDS FROM THE PROUD HIGHWAY When he died in February, Hunter S. Thompson—"the 20th century's greatest comic writer," as Tom Wolfe eulogized him—was in the midst of working with the editors of PLAYBOY to compose a guide to life, a compendium of hard-won advice for what he called, not altogether satirically, a doomed generation. Among his valedictions: Kick a bully in the balls, take your beatings, make people smile, and drink lots of water. The final words of an American master. FICTION 108 FOOT WORK An altruistic holistic healer encounters a beautiful massage school colleague who has swapped her hippie beads and crystals for a life of diamonds and furs. The forward-thinking reflexologist shares her lucrative secret to giving an orgasmic "foot job"—this time with deadly consequences. By Chick Palahniuk THE PLAYBOY FORUM 49 PARANORMAL PENTAGON The Bush administration has channeled approximately $30 billion into mysterious black-budget projects. Is the money being used to teach Special Forces soldiers occult skills, such as how to make a goat's heart stop by will alone? Here's the Army paper that inspires these clandestine units. By Jon Ronson 20Q 86 VITALI KLITSCHKO Did he chase Lennox Lewis out of professional boxing? Klitschko thinks he did and tells us why. History's best-educated heavyweight champ also explains-why boxing is like chess and how to bring democracy to the Ukraine. By Jason Buhrmester INTERVIEW 57 JAMES SPADER He's Alan Shore, the lawyer you're not sure you like. But before James Spader invigorated Boston Legal, he enjoyed a risky career playing deviants, killers, scummy yuppies and a man who gets aroused by car crashes. The press-shy actor opens up about how his characters' sexuality affects his life, how teenage guys can meet more girls and why he packs a knife. By Lawrence Grobel PICTORIALS 70 VICTORIA FULLER After her stint on The Amazing Race, this super Playmate should expect all her positions to be globally tracked. 94 PLAYMATE: JAMIE WESTENHISER She's the best argument yet to rock Fort Lauderdale like a hurricane during spring break. 124 REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Whoever said "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife" certainly never met these real-life domestic goddesses. NOTES AND NEWS 9 WORLD OF PLAYBOY 10 HANGIN' WITH HEF Joanie Laurer, Thora Birch, Victoria Fuller, Tara Reid and others join Hef's party posse at some of his favorite haunts. 155 PLAYMATE NEWS Check out exclusive pictures from the wedding of Miss October 1995 Alicia Rickter and Mets catcher Mike Piazza; Mitch Fatel explains why he and Kimberly Holland should start a family right away; Jenny McCarthy earns critical praise for her writing and acting in the comedy Dirty Love. DEPARTMENTS 1 PLAYBILL 13 DEAR PLAYBOY 17 AFTER HOURS 39 MANTRACK 45 THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 106 PARTY JOKES 143 WHERE AND HOW TO BUY 159 ON THE SCENE 160 GRAPEVINE 162 POTPOURRI FASHION 112 SUMMER STYLE DIARY Channel the Rat Pack with the threads featured in this all-American guide to business, weekend and evening fashion. By Joseph de Acetis REVIEWS 27 MOVIES The Force is with Star Wars: Episode Ill—Revenge of the Sith; the long-awaited Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy finally comes to one not so far, far away. 28 DVDS Leonardo DiCaprio hits his high mark with The Aviator; Fire on the Amazon causes Sandra Bullock to shed her clothes. 32 MUSIC Gang of Four lives again through Bloc Party's Silent Alarm; CDs that are music to our troops' ears in Iraq and Afghanistan. 34 GAMES Our first annual wired World Series; Goth talk with Marilyn Manson about his new game character. 36 BOOKS Imagining the 9/11 tragedy through a nine-year-old boy's eyes; Harry G. Frankfurt mulls over the essence of bullshit.