Swank April 1999

6 Cassandra So young, so innocent, so nude! 14 Readers' Letters Real-life smut! 18 Julia & Brigitte Your biker babe fantasies cum true! 30 Tales of the Unexplained These mermaids make Jaws look as harmless as a sea cucumber! 33 Lucy She's why gentlemen prefer blondes! 40 Star Struck Marylin stars at a bachelor party! 42 Mallory She bares all... and then some! 50 Dirty Talk This how-to is worth a thousand words! 54 June, Mila & Jimmy Who says three's a crowd 64 Holli Woods Holli reveals what she really wants in bed! 67 Venus A vision in red (and pink)! 76 Corinne This pin-up beauty is sure to become a classic 84 Dial Nikki Nikki enjoys some love in an elevator! 86 Ashley Lauren Feast your eyes on this sweet treat! 97 Swank Pranks Tell these jokes and become instantly popular! 98 XXX Reviews Read before you rent! 103 Mason This exotic beauty leaves you breathless! 177 Claudia & Sebastian Boy meets girl, boy and girl pose nude! EDITORIAL NOTE If you're lucky enough to be completely free of "friends" who constantly spew age-old cliches, I envy you. You know who I'm talking about...those self-righteous assholes who cheerfully say things like, "At least you have your health," after you tell them your house was robbed or give you that "If you love something, set it free..." line when your girlfriend dumps you for your best friend. These people just love to hang around casino tables and poker games — you do something stupid like lose next month's rent and they'll be right there get to shake their head and tell you, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." (Speaking of two in the bush, check out Julia & Brigitte on that huge bike!) That's probably the same person who will sit on a bar stool and watch as you make your move on on chicks like Cassandra, Mallory, Venus, Ashley and Mason and bark some encouraging line across the room like: "There goes my bud, he's a lean, mean cunnilingus machine." That's really gonna help get you laid. You want to ask Lucy to dinner or Corinne out for a show? One of these people will slap you on the back and say, "Don't worry if you get turned down. Remember, a penny saved is a penny earned." Thanks, fucko! Well, no need to fret. Even if you did get the old heave-ho earlier in the night, we still have June, Mila & Claudia to guarantee you an evening of hot, steamy sex. And like the true compadre that we are you can always turn to Swank for fresh, new, cliche-free entertainment. Hell, we'll even help you think of things to say. Turn to our "how-to" on Dirty Talk to get started. Plus, we've got reviews of some of the best new XXX videos. We've got nasty, dirty letters from our readers. Not to mention our porn star columnists Nikki Dial, Holli Woods and Marylin Star here every month. Yes, Swank is non-stop excitement from beginning to end. All's well that ends well! The Editors