Swank # 30, February 2000

6 Misty Want to play with her? 14 Letters Real life sex stories! 18 Bunny, Sheila & Andrew Delicious desert threesome! 26 Quickies Weird, wild shit! 28 Tommi She likes it rough! 38 Tales Of The Unexplained: Possessed By The Devil Your head will spin! 42 Nikki & Vince Women and Seamen do mix! 50 Scent Of A Doughnut Insert "hole" joke here! 53 Melanie So young, so happy, so dirty! 60 Kama Sutra 2000 No one can try just one! 63 Ali Under the table and fucking! 70 Holli Woods Holli goes au natural! 72 Jaelyn Hot, wet and ready! 84 Marylin Star Try her bathtub gin! 86 Sandy (Covergirl & Centerfold) The finest of the fine! 97 Swank's Pranks Amaze yourself—be funny! 98 XXX Reviews Cunt flick commentaries! 102 Cat Here ditty, ditty, ditty! 112 Edith Time to hit the showers! 176 Sophie 10an she cum out and play? Editorial Note The other day, some guy in front of me pulled off to the side of the road. I figured he stopped for no reason, so I went around him. As I got closer, I noticed he was getting out of his car to pick up a plastic hubcap. By the time I realized what he was doing, I ran the damn thing over. I heard a loud "crack" under my car as I crushed his newfound treasure. Crestfallen, he gave me the finger and called me a "motherfucker." The best part—he was a senior citizen. It's just not a full day until some grandfather gives you the finger and declares you a "motherfucker." And old people think we're disrespectful! I know I didn't fuck anyone's mother! I certainly didn't call him a "cocksucker" or tell him to go fuck himself, did I? He was the second guy to give me the finger that day. Sometimes you just can't catch a break. Oh well. With that in mind, I can't seem to put the words together today. It's just too hard to think, Hmm. What usually works? Pussy. Yeah, okay. Uh, hot backdoor action. Alright. Virgins. Yes! Slit slurping. Now we're talking! That works for me. That puts things back into perspective. Well, if that works for you as well, imagine what Misty will do for you! How about Jaelyn, Melanie, Edith or Bunny and Sheila. I can't explain what I thought of when I took a look at Ali, Sophie, Cat and Tommi either. And, this is no lie, my head almost spun when I saw Nikki and Vince going at it. Speaking of heads spinning, in this month's Tales of the Unexplained, read about the real exorcist—one boy's struggle with the devil himself. Equally entrancing, read about the past, present and future of the world's most famous sexual instruction book in Kama Sutra 2000. And, yes, the quickest way to a man's heart, or dick, as the case may be, is through his nose—see what we mean and read "Scent of A Doughnut." Doughnuts—is there anything they can't do? See Marylin take a trip back in time and Holli take a trip into the woods. As always, check out Quickies, Pranks, Letters and our XXX Reviews. The Editors