Swank # 59, May 2002

6 Avy Two words: fucking hot! 4 Letters Pure postal porking! 16 Jodi & Rick Love, and jizz, is in the air! 30 Bad Asses Tougher than you, doughboy! 34 Jana All spread and ready! 44 How-To Toys for Twats! 46 Jessie & Jezebell I think they like each other? 60 Jizz Bizz Who's banging who! 63 Trixi She's got something ip her sleave! 70 Stuff It's on everybody's hopping list! 72 Bridgette A delicious pussy picnic in the park! 80 Tales Of The Unexplained A picture s worth a thousand screams! 83 Julianne I think I'm in love! 90 Borneo Musn't lose one's head! 92 Vanessa Pretty in pink! 101 Pranks Funnier than a sack of comedians! 102 Quickies Ridiculous, but true, stories! 104 Angelina, Mia & Jeff Four tits, two pussies, one dick! 118 XXX Review Frame-by-frame filth! 134 Houston Give it up for the hardcore queen! 187 Ashley, Rebecca & Jenifer Look ma, no tan lines! Editorial Note Why is it every time I use the leafblower, some smart-ass comes up with a witty quip like, "So you blew the front yard?" Chuckle, chuckle. Yeah, that's exactly what I did. Or every time I go down to the docks and try and hustle an extra 50, they're like, "Down at the docks, eh? You blow any sailors?" It's like, dude, grow up! And why is it every-time I have to write this page, I have no idea what to say? I'm ashamed of myself right now. Probably shouldn't have drank all that cough medicine before I got here. Wait a minute! I know what to say! This month, the obvious female beauty that surrounds us can only be found in SWANK! See Jodi, Jana, Avy, and Vanessa exude nothing but natural sexual splendor! Drink deeply from the foxy fountains that are Briagette, Jessie and Jezebelle! Then witness the breathtaking glory of Ashley, Rebecca, and Jennifer's red-hot threesome! And when you're done with the exquisite photos of our SWANK cuties, see the creepy pics of some photogenic phantoms in Tales of the Unexplained's "Pictures Don't Lie!" The dead want you to have one more little something to remember them by, maybe in a wallet-size! So, sit down, smile pretty, and say "scream!" er, "cheese!" Speaking of pictures, they say any one is worth a thousand words. Well, that's at least a thousand percent true in this case! Check out "How I Almost Lost My Head In Borneo!" and get into the finer points of dealing with a headhunting host! Bizarre photos of unlucky people who forgot their manners and how to avoid meeting a similar fate! Plus, dinner menu do's and don'ts whilst in a headhunting country! Surprisingly, the cat tastes like, well, cat. Then, as if we didn't just save your life from headhunters, we present to you, your majesty, Bad Motherfuckers— this time, it's a list of the toughest mofo's in movie history! All this, plus Jokes, Quickies, Letters, Stuff, Jizz Bizz, How To, our XXX Reviews and more, more, more! Yeah, we're talking to you. You're the only one here. —The Editors