Club International UK Vol. 21 # 1

5 Cindy 12 Nat Fat 14 Kim 22 Motoring 25 Lisa Anne 33 Gabriella 42 Lucy 84 Sammy 92 Annie EDITORIAL NOTE Welcome to our great new 21st birthday edition. As you can see, the issue is packed with long and extremely boring historical features about what has happened in the last 21 years, and the major part Club International has played in the great events of our times. For instance, there's Cindy (page 5). Cindy played a crucial role in deciding the Soviet leadership succession after the death of Leonid Brezhnev: in fact, documents recently released from the Kremlin show that Yuri Andropov engaged her as his secret adviser at the time, in spite of the fact that she was just six years old! Moving along, you'll find regular girl Kim (page 14). A modest girl. Kim says little about her part in bringing an end to the Vietnam War, but if pressed she will admit that her influence with the Congress Party has helped to ensure that India remains the largest democracy of modern times. Everyone who follows the great national gossip columns will know that when the royals talk, they talk to Billy Goat. Club has now signed up the diarist who first introduced Charles and Diana all those years ago, and is currently doing such good work with the possible reintroduction of monarchies to Eastern Europe. Read Billy's sizzling new column on page 24. But it's not just our coverage of current affairs that makes Club the respected organ it so assuredly is. Leisure must also have a part, which brings us to Maurice Short (page 24). Not many people know that Maurice (or 'Mo', as his friend calls him) has managed Manchester United, Liverpool, Tottenham Hotspur, Bayern Munich, Anderlecht and Red Star Neasden — all at the same time! For authoritative sports writing, look no further. Then there's Britain's longest-running columnist, Nathaniel Fatbastard (page 12). Nat, referred to by The Sunday Times as 'the man who single-handedly educated the British palate', has campaigned tirelessly over two decades for improved standards of national catering, and in the process screwed more waitresses than any other man alive. Indeed, it may be argued that the only Club operative who has çlone absolutely sod-all during Club's existence is the Editor, who lists his major achievement as finishing a night at The Duke of Wellington standing up. Once.