Maxim # 134, February 2009, Cover 1 of 2

Features 44 The Real Swimsuit Issue Maxim's annual bikini blowout heats up Turks & Caicos with a sizzling shoot of the world's top swimsuit models. Caution: Contents extremely hot! 66 Maxim's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse Financial ruin, rogue nukes, an alarming shortage of bees—we breakdown the causes arth's doom and tell you how to be the âst man standing. BY ROGER LANHAM 70 Nasty Boy 3o Rock funnyman Tracy Morgan has veered fromrthe path of self-destructivecomic geniuses like John Belushi and Chris Earley. But that doesn't mean he's completely sane. BY NOELLE HANCOCK 74 The Art of the Heist The FBI's greatest investigator of stolen al has one last mission: bustinga Frenchcrime syndicate with $4.1 million worth of purloined paintings. An exclusive look inside a hidden world of guns, drugs, disguises, and missing masterpieces. BY SIMON WORRELL Departments 14 Incoming The Victoria's Secret supermodel bikini blowout, howto sneak into Obama's inauguration, what really happens when you do a line of disco dust, and a breath-freshening bit of Bacon Porn! 21 Rated Mope-rock iconMorrissey muses about his last day on Earth, Scott Pilgrim strikes graphic novel gold, Notorious hits the B.I.G. screen, and Eliza Dushku steams up our safety goggles. 31 Stuff Like watching football? Hey, us too! Which iswhywe've assembled the ultimate Super Bowl viewing setup. Plus, we ride with CarmeloAnthony and ogle the world's most awesome 4x4! 39 Columns In search of the Holy Grail of fast food, we track down the elusive, ephemeral, and enchanting McDonald's McRib. Still hungry? Devour our exclusive report on the blood-soaked history of the UFC. 80 Style We roll the dice and take a Vegas road trip with Adrien Brody,who ups his style ante courtesy of a bushy beard and an elegant ascot. Now, if only he'd wear a monocle... 96 The Decider Nothing is more maddening than deciphering where you stand with your sweetheart. Find out how she really feels with our Valentine's Day special: "She loves you or loves you not?"