Maxim # 82, October 2004

FEATURES 112 WE WANT ANSWERS RUSSELL SIMMONS The black man who founded Def Jam chats about white rappers, white Rolls Royces, and white powder. Oh, and a li'l something about his hott wife, Kimora, and his BJ history. 114 COVER GIRL AVRIL LAVIGNE The Canadian pop-punk princess with a rep for eating interviewers alive plays nice—and a little bit sexy—for her first sit-down with Maxim. We owe her one. 122 THE MOST ROCK 'N' ROLL DEATHS OF ALL TIME 128 FUNK MACHINE FERGIE Learn how this California goddess went from Disney Channel cheese puff to Black Eyed Peas sex bomb. 134 TOUR OF DUTY HIGHWAYS TO HELL Cops, bodyguards, drunken wrestling, Jack, groupies, blow, and college girls. No, that's not our grocery list—it's highlights from the diary we kept when we went on tours with Jet, Kanye West, and Journey. Guitar! 142 AS BAD AS SHE WANTS TO BE MELYSSA FORD By day she's the stacked-like-pancakes star of every hot rap video. By night she's a true crime junkie and sex columnist. And in our pages there's whole lot of her wearing a whole little. Now quit reading this and go look, homes! 146 INDUSTRIAL UNREST MUSIC LIVES! Between prosecuting downloaders, promoting crappy radio playlists, and producing god-awful music (Nickelback... anyone?), the record industry has been steadily driving itself into the shifter. Here's how to find good music again. 152 FOR LOVE OF COUNTRY JULIE ROBERTS No, she did not star in Pretty Woman. Yes, she is the hottest damn thing in Nashville, both musically and looks-wise.We clear now? REGULARS 22 READERS' LETTERS WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? Just for once, we pretend to care. (Don't go getting used to it.) 28 THE FUNNIES LAUGH, STUPID! Rooster jokes, pig jokes, and dog jokes, plus Dave Attell's pubic hair. And that, dear reader, is no joke. 32 CIRCUS MAXIMUS WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK Watch the fur—and scales—fly when a tiger and a crocodile go head to head. Plus, how long you'll have to wait for flying cars, and naked limeys on a roller coaster. 44 INTERNATIONAL GIRL ANNA SHPEROVA Believe it or not, this used to be a nice Russian girl who'd only ever posed for her passport photo. Then we came along and got her dirty. 62 INSTANT EXPERT FRIGHT NIGHT Witness the gradual evolution of Halloween, from a holy day to a mere welcome excuse for college girls to dress like whores. 64 SAYS HER GROUPIES' GUIDE TO SEX Think you can screw like a rock star? Better read' these superfans' stories first. Turns out you just might not smell bad enough... (No, we didn't think it was possible, either.) 72 SPORTS ONE GOAL SHORT They're cooler than cool: ice cold! It's Jarome Iginla and the rest of the NHL, and they've got a season worth watching. 79 THE MAD SCIENTIST HOT GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION Admittedly, the lesbians are mice, but it's still a good science story. 84 I WAS THERE THE RIVER QUEEN Maxim's own Erin Ness schooled every staffer at Texas Hold 'Em, then took home cash from Sin City's World Series of Poker. 90 HOT ZONE CAR WARS Yet another Grand Theft Auto release to guarantee we stay single. 157 TOP GEAR SOUND IDEAS Are you detecting a theme yet? 'Cuz we've got mad turntables, a Jimi Hendrix action figure, and everything you need to become a one-hit wonder today (except talent). 169 MAXIM FASHION MUSIC MAKES THE MAN All the black clothes and leather you need to accent your pawned guitar and be a Sunset Strip rocker dude. 184 BAR EXAM FOUR-PRONGED PENES Take our quiz on deadly sins and body parts.