Swank # 66, December 2002

6 Montana (Covergirl) Check out her wide open spaces! 14 Letters Our postman always rings twice and brings filth! 17 Ember & Pier Who likes cock? She does! 26 Dead Gein: Remembering A Serial Killer Not your standard people person! 30 Jassie If the bike's broke ride the dildo! 42 Jizz Bizz What's going down with the in-and-out scene! 45 Madison & Swan These two girls sure are wet! 56 Tales Of The Unexplained: Year Of The Hole Well, holey-moley! 60 Carmen She's got something for you to eat in the kitchen! 66 How-To: Bachelor Pad Turn your filthy lair into a pristine hussy palace! 69 Erica Purple couch, pink pussy! 78 Quickies A celebration of stupidft 80 Allison Fall in love with her lovely (vertical) smile! 92 Kylie (Centerfold) This country girl spreads wide! 100 Horny Devils Hot, sexy jokes! 102 Delilah & Tony Talk about roadside ass-istance! 112 Stuff A pile of crap you need to have! 115 Petra The best game of pool ever! 122 XXX Review Hardcore smut and DVDeflowerings! 180 Sin Twins One question, two hot answers! 184 Dana & Kelle Ah, the sweet taste of girl goo! EDITORIAL NOTE SWANK TALK If my everyday existence were like those fucking "extreme" movies, I'd probably have snowboarded through some mine-laden field while being chased by angry Latvians on my way to work today. Then, I would parachute off the board and bring myself down onto an awaiting dirtbike where I would jump the Grand Canyon in a hail of gunfire. But what's still missing from my "extreme" day? You guessed it—the ladies! I've got a feeling that Montana, Jassie, Ember, and Carmen would be the perfect co-stars to my unbelievable day! And if you think Erica, Allison, Kylie, Madison and Swan wouldn't make a trip to my of casting couch, then you sir, have got another thing coming! And, make no mistake, Delilah, Petra, Dana and Kelle would make anyone's adventures a "hole" lot of fun! Speaking of holes, not the fun kind mind you, this month's Tales of the Unexplained take us to that strange year of 1977: The Year of The Hole! Can you imagine craters, hundreds of feet wide, long, and deep, opening for no reason? Whatever caused the world to want to collapse into itself may never be explained.... probably all that shitty disco music! Well, one thing's for sure, whether you consider it crap or not, music has always had its share of Bad Muthafuckas! This month, we'll check out some of the baddest six-string picking, skin beatin', tonsil tearing Puckers of all-time! Hey, maybe if Ed Gein picked up the guitar or the drums or something, he would have been less of a fucking psycho! But, you can't change the past, you can only read about it! And in "Dead Gein: Remembering A Serial Killer," you'll be thankful that this guy no longer walks the streets with you and me! And, as if all of this weren't enough, we've got Quickies, Horny Devils, Letters, Stuff, Jizz Bizz, The Sin Twins, and the latest and greatest in porno Flixxx! —The Editors