Swank # 71, April 2003

6 Diana She's wide open for anything! 14 Letters Worth waaay more than 37 cents! 18 Ashley & Trent Deep throat action? No problem! 32 Execute-O-Matic This is how I wanna go! 35 Quickies Tickle your funny bone! 36 Teen Of The Month: Tiffany Fresh an purely filthy! 44 Senor Swanky To be cool, you gotta read this! 47 Dominica & Ember Where did they fit the chair? 56 How-To: Future Viagra Solutions for the new millenium! 58 Monique Kind of girl you bring home to ma! 66 The Unexplained You Talkin' To Me? People persons? Not here! 69 Shanaya She's of the luckiest fingers! 78 Fast & Furious Spectacular speed stats and stories! 82 Tawny Hot blonde in heat! 92 Horny Devils This here is funny stuff. 94 Jo She's got some tight pink! 102 Jizz Bizz Business end of dropping a load! 104 FIiXXX More cinematic smut than ever! 109 Stuff Is this an odd or an end? 164 Sin Twins Some good fucking advice! 171 Lilly Ann Nothing beats a full pussy! Editorial Note Fuck all these reality-based shows. I've said it before, I'll say it again. All the crappy over-dramatic plot lines, subplots, ridiculously marketable super-cool characters that aren't like anyone you've ever known—it's all shit. Nothing's more realistic than real life. How about this—follow a real person around for a few days. Here's Stan watching TV for seven hours. Here he is banging his wife for 20 minutes. Ooh, look, now he's going to work! Make him a fully poseable action figure and watch everyone go crazy! Bad mood aside, I say we follow the girls of Swank around for about, oh, the next 200 pages or so. Who's with me? Let's see what Diana, Monique, and Monica have been up to! Looks like something nasty! Check out Lilly Ann, Ashley, Dominica and Ember. These girls are too good to us! And we can't forget about Shanaya, Tiffany, and Tawny. Realism has never looked better! Speaking of realism and people and all that, in this month's Unexplained, we've got a few stories of those who would never be considered "people persons!" In fact, when faced with day-to-day problems, these specimens of short temper explode into unmatched rage and anger. See how not to treat your fellow man in "You Talkin' To Me?" And by now, a good number of men have treated their little fellow to a dose of two of Viagra—just to keep things up and running, right? Well, times are changing and so are the dick-raising advances out there! Check out the latest in keeping junior awake in How To's futuristic "Post-Viagra Millennium!" And if that weren't enough, we've got a history of execution methods and machines in "Execut-o-matic!", your favorite set of girls, The Sin Twins and their priceless advice, funniest jokes ever with Horny Devils, the coolest ways to go with Senor Swanky, stuff you need in Stuff, plus Quickies, Jizz Bizz, Flixxx and more! And you can't miss our special Celebrity Booklet—chock full of your favorite Hollywood starlets baring a lot more than usual! Until next time, keep it cool, daddy-o! —The Editors