Hustler December 2009

GIRLS 27 TUESDAY CROSS Our Favorite Day Photography by Matti Klatt 46 HARMONY PAXSON Drunk on Love Photography by Ladi von Jansky 63 ALEXIS AMORE & CHARLES DERA It Takes Two to Tango Photography by Holly Randall 76 KIMBERLY KATO The Early Riser Photography by J Stephen Hicks 99 EVERYBODY LOVES LUCY! Red-Hot Sitcum Photos courtesy HUSTLER Video 119 DANIELLE TRIXIE Undercover Lover Photography by Jose Luis 162 MAGGIE Shadow Puppet Classic Photography by James Baes FEATURES 38 THE AMERICAN EMPIRE IS BANKRUPT The U.S. dollar is circling the drain and taking our prosperity with it. Report by Chns Hedges 42 SPANK YOU! The Spirit's ass-tastic art Prnfile by Albert Pierce 44 ACE FREHLEY: KISS THIS! Legendary guitarist tells all. Interview by Music Editor Keith Valcourt 54 A DAY IN THE LIFE OF DANA DeARMOND Meet the anything-goes porn star who redefines the word neurotic. Article by Justin Hampton 58 THE Q&A: KIRBY DICK The director of Outrage rips the doors off the political gay closet. Interview by Mark Johnson 60 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US! HUSTLER celebrates 35 years with a heavenly descent into hell. 72 FOOTBALL BETTING TIPS How to bend the odds in your favor. Article by Chn's Maloney 90 JESUS GIVES GOOD HEAD HUSTLER's roving reporter hangs out at Richmond tattoo festival Sun Karma STANDARDS 3 SEX PARODY Nurse Jackoff 7 PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT Obama: Lost in the Wilderness? by Larry Flynt 9 TECH KNOW Win a custom HUSTLER laptop! 10 GAME ON Fishing gets extreme, and the Beatles rock again! 11 ROBERT SCHEER Robert Rubin's Free Pass 13 NAT HENTOFF Obama's War on Individual Privacy 15 ALEX BENNETT A Rush to Judgment 17 MAMIE VAN DOREN What Happened to George? 18 FEEDBACK Washington hypocrites and a proposal for sexpot Sadie West 20 POLITICAL PARODY Monsanto: The Future of Food 21 ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH Obama's faith-based appointee Alexia Kelley 23 BITS & PIECES Daisy De La Hoya gets licked, Vince Neil plays golf, Kayden Kross & more 35 PINUP BY GINA KING 36 HOT LETTERS Fight Night: Wrestling and Reaming 37 CLASSIC CARTOONS The lower the blow, the filthier it is. 57 TAILS OF THE BUNNYRANCH Masturbatory Serendipity 71 THE GIRLS OF MYSPACE Comely Lindsey Lovehands 88 HUSTLER HUMOR Too soon? Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett share a gag. 93 SIGHTS & SOUNDS Charlie Murphy and Teena Marie remember Rick James. 96 MOVIE MAMMARIES Heather Graham's career high points 97 FAMOUS FLESH Sharon Stone: No bra? No problem. A Petition for Privacy 108 COLLEGE REPORT 109 REAL COLLEGE GIRLS 'Bama bookworm au naturel 111 COUGARS UNLEASHED Sex diva Raquel Devine 112 EROTIC ENTERTAINMENT Seinfeld scores a XXX, Penny Flame goes from rough to rehab, and swingers keep it real...sleazy. 127 BEAVER HUN1 Newbies in their birthday suits