Maxim # 135 - March 2009

FEATURES 50 Eliza Dushku Buffy's best friend is back as TV's sexiest spy in Fox's new series Dollhouse. Just call her Secret Agent Ma'am. 56 The Real Big Easy The ultimate insider's guide to doing Mardi Graslike apro,with ourfun-tastictourof New Orleans' best dive bars, po'boys, go-cups, alligators, and glittery feathered masks! BY STEVE GARBARINO 62 Bring Her On Danneel Harris, star of this month's sexiest teen comedy, Fired Up, plays the Sapphic, bescrunchied cheerleader of your naughtiest dreams. BY SETH KELLY 66 Icon: Cheech and Chong The still-smokin' kings of pot comedy are reunited, back ontour, and opining on every thing from Obama to nirvana. BY MATT DIEHL 68 The 2009 Sex Survey We posed all the inappropriate questions you were afraid to ask, and more than 2,000 women dished about one-night stands, favorite positions, porn, and much more! The rest is up to you. 72 Love and Death in Iraq Soldier Kamisha Block's deathwas blamed on friendlyfire. Probes of an army cover-up and a jealous lover told a different story. An exclusive investigation. BY PETER WILKINSON 78 Drop Dead Gorgeous Willa Ford and Julianna Guill, scream queens of the new Friday the 13th splatterfest, paint OUT pages red. BY STINSON CARTER DEPARTMENTS 16 Letters Our mailbox was smashed by joyriding teens, butwe salvaged enough missives to reflect your praise and put-downs! 18 Incoming The Masturbating Bear's farewell to New York, the Zen of the Zamboni, and why we hate bathroom attendants. 29 Rated Watchmen director Zack Snyder gets geeky, Johnny Knoxville gets reflective, and the Decemberists get loud. 39 Stuff Ducati's hot new naked street bike, the baddest basketball kicks, and one man's obsession with Star Wars action figures. 44 Columns Maxim saves sports! From legalizing steroids to imposing an "asshole tax," we solve all ball-related problems. 83 Expert Irish eyes are crying with joy about our guide to surviving St. Patrick's Day. And muscles are sore from our skiworkout! 90 Style Smooth-dressing Scots Franz Ferdinand suit up and spout off about their club-shaking new album, Tonight, and being Kanye's favorite rock band. 100 The Decider This boot-camp edition of the Decider asks all you worthless maggots: What's your major malfunction, numbnuts?